


Tell Me Your Name

by randomstory_teller



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Assassin Killua Zoldyck, Character Death, Fluff, Love at First Sight, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sad Ending, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:48:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28638042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomstory_teller/pseuds/randomstory_teller
Summary: Killua is supposed to kill Gon Freecs.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Tell Me Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, idk what this is. This was the first kiss sene I ever wrote, I hope it´s fine. All this is super random and way to short but i wanted to come to an end since it´s like, 3am here. Anyway, enjoy if you can and pay attantion to the taggs please!  
> Love you!  
> -Mia

It was an easy order. Go to the prince’s ball, arrange a dance with him, lead him outside, kill him. Killua walked down the path with sure steps, a black mask covering his face. He would have preferred to clothe in white, but blood could be so easily spotted on it, so he chose the safer option, even though he didn´t plan to get one drop of blood on himself, but you couldn´t be careful enough. 

Killua bowed his head slightly to the guards as he reached the silver gate which protected the castle from unwanted visitors, or so most people thought. “Show me your invitation, Sir.”, the guard ordered. Killua would have loved to slit his throat, but this wasn´t the time to do so, so he answered, “Of course.” His gloved hand took out an envelope, handing it over to the guard. The man opened it, taking out the perfectly faked invention. Trained eyes inspected the invention closely before putting it back in the envelope and handing it back over. The gate opened. “Welcome to the ball, Mr. Lozdyck.”, the guard said and motioned Killua to enter. “Thank you.”, Killua said, his face remaining straight as he entered the grounds. He found himself surrounded by a beautiful garden. Flowers in all kinds of forms covered big surfaces, their colors couldn´t be pinpointed in the pale moonlight. Big trees lead the way to the entrance of the castle, being placed on both sides of the well lidden path. Everywhere you looked you could spot small lights that had been set up, looking like small fairies hovering over the flowers.

Everything seemed so peaceful and perfect and Killua hated it. He was glad as he finally reached the entrance, guards opening the giant doors. Inside of the castle it was even more beautiful. Warm light lids up the way to the ballroom, small crystals reflecting the light in small rainbows. Here and there were placed some white- and red-colored flowers, everything fitting perfectly into the picture. It wasn´t to much nor to less and suddenly Killua regretted choosing black. Everything was way to bright and light. He would most likely look suspicious with his dark suit. Never mind, Killua thought, now it´s too late. He reached the door which led to the ballroom, guards dressed in white standing next to it. As soon as they spotted him the door was opened for him, letting his eyes see the ballroom in all his beauty. With chaste steps Killua walked in, his eyes scanning the room. Everything was warm and light, also here crystals were hanging from the ceiling, reflecting all the light just the same as in the hallway. The colors white and red could be found all over the room, making it all look very pleasant to a human’s eye. 

The people were dressed in so many different colors that you couldn´t count them. There was everything from dark to light and Killua felt himself breath out gratefully at that. He wouldn´t sting out with his black clothing. Slow music was played and pairs span on the dancefloor. The atmosphere was light and relaxed, like this was just some kind of family reunion. Ice blue eyes searched thru the crowd of people, waiting to spot a specific person. Killua knew how the prince looked like from a few black and white pictures. He had dark hair which was most of the time banned in a messy bun, a few locks always framing his face. He had an elegant and smooth body and tanned skin. A few freckles were spread on the bridge of the boy’s nose and kind, dark eyes shone megniffecantly, lid up with an annoyingly brilliant smile. All in one, a man some only found in their dreams. Killua had decided that the prince was disgustingly perfect. He was probably arrogant and dumb like every single other royal Killua had met in his life. Probably.

Killua stepped closer to the crowd, the people kindly making place for him. It irritated him a lot, that everyone was paying attention to the people that surrounded them and were treating everyone like their close friends. This wasn´t something he had ever seen before, but he decided to pay no mind. It would just make all this easier. Killua reached the front and now had a perfect view of the dancefloor. The people were spinning around and laughing at each other as they danced and Killua scrunched his face. Everything and everyone seemed to be overly bright and it annoyed him. He just wanted to finish this. After a few minutes he finally spotted the target dancing with a blond haired woman, probably a few years older than him. Killua tried to get a better view of his face, but the way he was dancing it was impossible to see his face properly. Killua had only recognized him because of the hair and the unmistakable tanned skin which was especially brought out in the white suit. Of course, the prince was dressed in white. Killua sighed. The suit would be totally ruined later. 

After watching the prince dance for five minutes, Killua got bored. How long will this take? His eyes left his target, looking around. He spots several stacks of food and drinks, but they are all to far. He would lose the prince in the crowd. But if he would just stand here the whole time, people would get suspicious. He needed to-  
“Excuse me, Mister.”, a male voice interrupts his thoughts. Killua turns his attention to the male in front of him, recognizing the white suit instantly. What a coincidence, he thinks. Killua can´t see the price’s eyes since he is bowing his head slightly as he extends his tanned hand. “Care for a dance?” This is going way to smooth, Killua thinks as his gloved hand grabs the tanned one lightly. The prince looks up, golden brown eyes catching blue once as a soft smile lights up the warm eyes. “How beautiful.”, he says as he carefully leads Killua on the dancefloor. 

Soft music reaches Killua’s ear as the prince places one hand on his hip, the other one grabbing his hand. The tough is soft and careful, like the prince is touching glass that threatens to break in pieces. They start to move. Every movement is light and smooth, the prince carefully leading Killua around. The touch never gets more nor it lessens. It stays as gentle as in the beginning. It´s like the prince is scared that if he grabs tighter Killua is going to break in hundreds of pieces. “You don´t need to treat me like I am going to break down every second. I´m not glass.”, Killua says, his voice sharp. Brown eyes meet his as the prince answers, “I know you aren´t glass, but when I see your eyes you look like you are just as easily breakable.” Killua frowns ever so slightly. “I´m not weak.”, he says. The eyes get gentler, the light making them look like pure gold as a smile makes its way on the price’s face again. “That´s not what I meant.”, the prince says, spinning Killua once. 

Killua doesn´t understand the words that come out of the prince’s mouth. The prince seems to notice and chuckles slightly. “I´m sorry for my confusing words.”, he says and then quiets for a moment. “Do you mind telling me your name?”, he then asks, still holding the gaze on Killua’s eyes. “Yes, I do.”, Killua answers, mentally slapping himself. This would make him look weird. The prince hums in acknowledgement, his eyes leaving Killua. Then he says, “My name is Gon Freecs.” “I didn´t ask.”, Killua answers coldly, finding himself staring at the soft freckles painted on Gon’s face. “I know, but I told you anyway.”, Gon says, his eyes meeting Killua’s again, a grin on his face. Killua darts his eyes away, noticing that he had started to count the freckles. Pathetic. This wasn´t what he was supposed to do. He should act different. More charming, teasing so it would be easier to get Gon go with him alone later. Maybe I can also just force him with me, Killua thought.

Gon span him again and then dipped him carefully. “You know,”, Gon said, “I have never seen such vibrant blue eyes. They aren´t usual around here, but yours are so intense. And your hair looks like a cloud.” “Is that supposed to be a complement?”, Killua asks, finding himself smiling slightly. No. Golden eyes catch his again and Killua stares into them. They look like the sun, he thinks, then instantly erases the thought. What was wrong with him? He was feeling light and way to comfortable to be on a mission. He had to get himself under control. Gon dragged him out of his thoughts as he answered, “Maybe.” Killua chuckled. He chuckled. Actually chuckled. He really had to get a grip on himself. “Your weird.”, he then said. “You think? Most people say I´m charming.” “They have a weird taste then.” “Seems like it.”, Gon just said, staring at Killua. 

Killua wanted to say that Gon should stop starring, but before he could say anything Gon said, “Or maybe you just have no idea of charm.” “Oh, I do more then you.”, Killua answered. A challenging glimmer came into Gon’s eyes. “Really? Maybe I can learn from you?”, he asked, his voice playful. Killua rolled his eyes and answered, “Come with me and I´ll show you.” That was smooth, Killua, he thought, you finally get something done. Gon’s eyes started to shine in an innocent way and he stopped their movement. “Really?”, he asked, his voice exited. “Idiot.”, was the only answer he got before Killua dragged him from the dancefloor. He led Gon outside in the garden to a little lake he had spotted while walking in. It was pretty here and a faint smell of flowers reached Killua’s nose. Gon stopped in front of him, asking, “It´s pretty here, isn´t it? Aunt Mito spends ages here.” Killua just nodded, admiring the way Gon’s eyes glittered in the faint light. The knife in his suit weighted heavy and dragged him down. Just finish it, he thought. “And?”, Gon asked. “And what?”, Killua asked, so lost in thought that he forgot what he came here for. “Teach me!” Killua raised an eyebrow and asked, “You literally want me to teach you?” Gon nodded, his eyes eager. He really means it. Killua stared for a few seconds before laughing out loud, a thing he hadn’t done in ages. Gon pouted and said, “What´s so funny?” “Nothing.”, Killua said between laughers. Gon stared at him for before a smile formed on his lips. Then he started laughing too. 

After both calmed down a few minutes later, Gon said, “You know, your laugh is really pretty.” His eyes looked completely innocent and honest. It made Killua blush and he said, “Leave it, idiot.” “But it´s true!” Killua just waved his hand in dismiss and said, “You are son weird.” “You already said that.”, Gon answered and stepped slightly closer. His eyes suddenly were much softer than before and something glimmered in them that Killua couldn´t pinpoint. The only thing his brain managed to register was that Gon was coming closer until they were practically standing flush against each other. Killua didn´t back off, even though he didn´t know why not. Gon’s breath caressed his face slightly and something inside Killua switched on. His chest started to feel heavy and his heart beat faster. Gon was way to close. “What are you-”, Killua started but was interrupted when he felt Gon’s gentle hand touching his cheek. A chuckle was heard as Gon said quietly, “I´m charming you.” His second hand settled on Killua’s chest and could probably feel the strong heartbeat of his. 

Everything in Killua screamed to back away, to go and do his job, but Gon’s touch felt addicting. So warm. Killua had never been treated this gentle. He didn´t know what it felt like. Maybe that’s why his senses were overwhelmed by it. A feeling he didn´t know rested heavy in his chest. What was wrong?! “Hey,”, Gon said softly, “Do you believe in love at first sight?” “Love?”, Killua breathed. Gon nodded softly, smiling a bit at him. “I don´t know what love feels like.”, Killua answered honestly. “You don´t?”, Gon asked. Killua shook his head. Gon’s smile shifted into something else, something sad when he said, “You know, love feels heavy. It drags you down. Your chest is… warm and you feel like butterflies are in your stomach.” He leaned slightly closer, only inches away from Killua’s face. “When the person you love touches you, it feels warm. Your skin maybe feels like it´s burning. Normally, love is a thing that needs time, but some stories say something from love at first sight. It´s when someone comes into your life and the second you see them you feel like… I can´t explain.” Killua’s eyes stared at Gon. Everything was warm. His skin was burning, Gon’s hands were way to gentle to what he was used. As Gon’s breath brushed his face, his eyelids fluttered. His brain was empty, only a distant voice was heard, but Killua didn´t understand the words it was saying. “Can I kiss you?”, Gon suddenly asked, his voice not more than a whisper. Killua didn´t answer. He had never kissed anyone. He had never really known what a kiss is, the only thing he knew was that it was most times romantic. A sign of love. “What´s a kiss?”, he then asked, his voice not louder then Gon’s. “Am I allowed to show you?”, Gon asked, his eyes softly watching Killua’s face. Killua didn´t answer and just closed his eyes. 

Gon chuckled and leaned in. Something soft touched Killua’s lips, making his chest explode. It was warm. He leaned in, his hands wandering to Gon’s neck, circling around it. The kiss was short, only a few seconds until Gon pulled away, smiling at Killua. “That’s a kiss.”, he whispered. Killua somehow managed to smile, still overwhelmed. “It feels good.”, Killua decided. Gon hummed and then hugged Killua carefully, burying his head in Killua’s shoulder. Killua did the same, resting his head and calming his nerves. He closed his eyes, breathing into Gon’s neck. This felt warm. He felt something bore into his chest. For a second, his brain couldn´t find the information of what it was. It came back and Killua frowned. The knife. He almost forgot why he was here, all this making him completely soft. Everything felt so warm. But he had to end it. He had to. Otherwise, there was going to be punishment. The man that had given him this job was rich and cold. If Killua wouldn´t kill Gon, he would probably be chased to death. But he couldn´t… he couldn´t kill Gon. Even though every common sense he had left told him he had to, he couldn´t bring himself to move. All this was so new. So different from what he ever knew. It felt so good and warm, something Killua never felt before. Everything had always been cold. His home, his family, everyone he knew. It was always cold. 

Gon was like the sun. His touch warmed him up. Gon was so full of light. Gon was light. How could Killua- “Hey,”, Gon addressed him again and pulled away. He smiled at Killua, but it was a sad smile again. “I know why you are here. After all I´m not dumb. You’re an assassin. I noticed as you started to lead me outside.”, Gon’s voice was quiet, “But I just couldn´t bring myself to separate from you. I am so stupid and I know but… I just couldn`t. Your eyes, they are… they are so broken. You seem so broken, so loss of feelings.” Silence. “As I saw you in the ballroom that was the thing that I noticed first. Your eyes are beautiful, you are beautiful. Your laugh is beautiful. I was so happy when your eyes lid up with emotion. I´m so pathetic and I´m sorry.”, Gon said. The smile remained on his face. “Gon…”, Killua said, “Yes, I am an assassin. I came to kill you.” Tears started to roll down his cheek as he contuined, “I… Someone gave me the job, they´re powerful. I don´t know what will happen of I don´t kill you... I guess they´ll kill me. But that´s fine. I already took so many lives, it´s time someone takes mine. Gon. I can´t kill you. I know it´s dumb because I know you since a few hours but… you have touched my heart more than anyone else ever did. You feel warm. You are like the sun. You don´t deserve to die. I do. I´m horrible! I-” Lips touched his softly and Gon whispered, “That`s not true. I had a beautiful life. I got so much love, it´s enough for a lifetime.” Killua opened his mouth, tears still streaming down his face. Before he could do anything, Gon grabbed the knife from Killua’s pocket. “Gon-!”, Killua protested, panicking. He tried to grab the knife, but Gon was faster. With a fast motion he cut open his wrist, blood streaming down. 

Killua couldn´t move. He stared at the blood. Whywhywhywhywhy- was everything that repeated in his head. “Why?! You don´t know me! What I did! You know me since a few hours! Are you crazy?! We could have found an other solution! You don´t even know my name!” Gon just smiled weakly. “Maybe we could have found an other solution, but I didn´t want to.”, he said, light slowly disappearing from his eyes. Killua cried, falling on his knees next to Gon. “You are so stupid! IDIOT!”, he screamed, the feelings overwhelming him. Gon just smiled and asked, “Can you… tell me your… name?”


End file.
